Every year, my husband takes his pruning shears and clips off the dead branches, along with those that give the tree a lop-sided look, distorting the beauty of the tree. But where the plant has been pruned, new branches grow, producing soft green leaves that will ultimately produce more lovely pink flowers the following spring.

What is required to keep our weeping cherry tree healthy, flower producing, and lovely is what is required to keep leaders in an organization (that could be any of us) healthy, productive, and worthy of a following. We, too, need to be pruned.

For us, that pruning takes place when we are made aware of those things that are not producing fruit and then take action to allow the pruning to take effect. It might be a negative mindset, a negative belief about certain people, or a behavior that offends or invites others to feel inferior. It could be anything that makes us less effective as people, as leaders, and as an organization. Awareness comes first. Taking positive action completes the pruning process and allows growth to happen.

A Child’s View

As a child, I thought as a child, and I used to think that when people pruned limbs from trees that it hurt the tree. As someone with a vivid imagination, envisioning myself as that tree, all I could imagine was how painful it must be to be the tree. If I were that tree, and those pruning shears were coming at me, I was in for a great deal of pain. Fortunately, maturing has a way of changing one’s perspective.

But, hey, isn’t that childlike perspective how some people view feedback in verbal or written form that identifies areas where pruning is needed if they are to grow? Maybe it is because feedback can feel painful when we discover that others’ perceptions of us do not match our perceptions of ourselves. To avoid the pain we either do not ask for feedback, or we refuse to accept the feedback when given.

It’s All Information

That is why I tell my coaching clients that all feedback is simply information that informs us. We are not vessels that need to be fixed. We are not broken. We are just people in process, and it takes some pruning to become the people we were intended to become – courageous and authentic. Rather than allowing ourselves to wallow in the pain of feedback that doesn’t match our own picture of ourselves, it can be helpful to see it for what it is: an opportunity to grow and to become an even more beautiful individuals.

Feedback is not good or bad, and what we choose to do with it is up to us. But, if we get the same feedback from more than one person, it might be a good idea to pay attention. Like the weeping cherry tree in our front yard, only when we allow ourselves to be pruned will new growth be possible.

It may help to remember this: In both cases, pruning or no pruning, there will undoubtedly be some pain involved. The only difference is that one will lead to growth and the other to stagnation. And this you get to choose.

When was the last time you allowed yourself to be pruned?

© 2021   Mary Jane Mapes

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